Girlfriend to boyfriend: Seeing the genitals of a corpse is, like, a huge turn-off.–Bodies Exhibit, Fulton St
Yuppie to toddler sitting on friend’s lap: … And the benefit of wearing Nike clothing is that it’s made by children not much older than you.–Central Park
Hot chick on cell, sadly: I finished the new Harry Potter… It was good, but now I just feel so empty inside.–Penn Station
Hot chick: Oh, you live on Amsterdam? I used to live on Amsterdam. I threw a bowl of diarrhea out of my window once. Don’t do drugs!–27th & 30th, Astoria
Freshman #1: Oh, look, there’s Joe*. Does he still do cocaine?
Freshman #2, whispering: Well, no. But now he lives on caffeine pills… [Then, more dramatically] And Mountain Dew.
Freshman #1, gasping: Oh my god!–Columbia dorm
Asian mom to child in stroller: You feel trapped? Well, so do I. Now you know how I feel.–51st & 3rd
Woman with wailing baby: God, I wish I was high — you would be so funny right now!–V train
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