Cashier: In 20 minutes I can go home… Go home and play some video games.
Middle-aged lady customer: Yay!
Cashier: Either that or drink.
Middle-aged lady customer: Why not both?
Cashier: Well, then my mom will yell at me in the morning.–Douglaston Waldbaum’s, Queens
Bimbette #1: Wait, I have to figure out where I am.
Bimbette #2: You are at Broadway and Houston.
Bimbette #1: No, I mean metaphysically…–Broadway & Houston
Bearded motorcyclist, after being cut off: Hey, fucker!
Meek guy in Honda, out window: Sorry, sir.–15th St & West Side Hwy
Female barista, scrubbing floor boards: I hate doing clean sweep ’cause I get all sweaty… Especially in my butt crack.
Male barista: You should employ the butt tissue. Just slip a paper towel in there at the start of the shift, and then just toss it at the end.
Female barista: I already do that.
Customer: Now that’s legendary service.–Starbucks, 67th & Queens
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