Old woman: You should really go to the men’s homeless shelter.
Hobo: I’m a woman.–25th & 3rd
Young girl #1: The guy hasn’t called me in, like, a week…
Young girl #2: His loss.
Young girl #1: But I didn’t even get to hook up with him!–86th & 2nd
Woman: He’s very successful. I’m sure he’s a millionaire by now, and he’s only 26. He never even graduated from college.
Queer: I’m soooooo jealous. I wish I didn’t have an education.–Mott & Houston
30-ish investment banker on cell: She had so much makeup on her face she looked like she had just blown 20 clowns.–44th & Park
Lady: Sir, this woman is very pregnant. Please give her your seat.
Fat man: Yeah, well, I’m very fat, and that’s basically the same thing.–4 train
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