Babysitter: Ok guys, hold my hand.
Six-year-old boy: Holding hands is unnatural.
Babysitter: What? Where did you hear that?
Six-year-old boy: George Bush!
Man walking ahead: Wow, he really does get blamed for everything now.–1 train, 225th St
Street preacher: Oh, you poor ladies. You are on your way to Hell. Stop holding each other like that! Don’t you know that lesbianism is a sin?
Girl: Dude, that’s my mom!–Jay St
Hobo, after bumping into Asian lady suit: Damn! Bump into me and don’t even say sorry. That’s rude — just plain rude. Now I know why Godzilla attacked you guys. Just damn rude. Rude, rude, rude. Hey, watch out back there. Godzilla starts munching down on this subway and he’s for sure gon’ start right back there.–A train
Creepster #1: Jesus, all the people who come to the zoo smell like shit.
Creepster #2: Or maybe that’s just the zoo…–Central Park Zoo
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